Krampus on the Shelf: Festive Horror for Your Home

Alright, so listen up, I’m gonna tell ya ’bout this…thing… called Krampus on the Shelf. Don’t ask me why, folks are always comin’ up with new stuff.

What is this Krampus thing anyway?

Well, from what I gather, this Krampus ain’t no jolly ol’ Santa Claus. He’s some kinda scary fella from way back when, over in Germany or some such place. They say his name means “claw,” which don’t sound too friendly, does it? He’s supposed to be some kinda devil-lookin’ thing with horns and all. Not the kinda guy you want showin’ up at your door, that’s for sure.

Now, some folks say he’s the son of some god of the underworld. Sounds like a whole lotta trouble to me. And this Krampus, he ain’t about givin’ out candy and toys. Nope, he’s there to punish the bad kids. You heard me right, punish ’em!

Krampus Night, what’s that all about?

So, they got this night, Krampus Night, I think they call it. It’s around the same time as that Saint Nicholas fella comes around. Kids leave their boots out, and if they’re good, they get a treat. But if they’re bad… well, they get a stick or somethin’. Serves ’em right, I say. Kids these days need a little more discipline.

Leave a boot out
Good kids get a treat
Bad kids get a stick

And get this, in some places, grown folks dress up like this Krampus and run around. They call it Krampus Run. Sounds like a whole lotta ruckus to me. I bet they get up to all sorts of mischief.

Krampus on the Shelf, like that Elf thing?

Now, this is where it gets kinda weird. You know that Elf on the Shelf thing, right? That little doll that folks move around to make it look like he’s watchin’ the kids? Well, somebody got the bright idea to do the same thing with this Krampus fella.

Yep, they got these Krampus on the Shelf dolls now. Little scary lookin’ things, with their horns and fur and all. And folks are puttin’ ’em on their mantles and shelves, just like that Elf. I guess they think it’ll scare their kids into bein’ good.

Where can you get one of these Krampus dolls?

I hear tell you can get ’em online, or maybe in some of them fancy stores. They even got some big ones, for puttin’ in your yard, if you’re really into it. Me? I don’t need no scary doll to keep my grandkids in line. A good ol’ wooden spoon works just fine.

Why are folks doin’ this Krampus on the Shelf thing?

I don’t rightly know why folks are so taken with this Krampus on the Shelf thing. Maybe they think it’s funny, or maybe they just like scarin’ their kids. Me, I think it’s a bit much. But hey, to each their own, I always say.

What do I think about it all?

Personally, I think folks are makin’ too much fuss over all this holiday stuff. Back in my day, we didn’t have no Elves on Shelves or Krampus dolls. We just behaved ourselves, or we got a switchin’. And that was that. But times change, I guess. And if folks wanna put a scary lookin’ doll on their shelf, well, that’s their business.

So, there you have it. That’s the lowdown on this Krampus on the Shelf thing, as best as I can tell ya. It’s a scary lookin’ doll folks use to try and make their kids behave. Whether it works or not, well, that’s another story. But one thing’s for sure, it’s a whole lot different from the way we used to do things.