Is GWAR: Orgasmageddon the Most Insane Show Ever?

Listen up, y’all, let me tell ya ’bout this GWAR: Orgasmageddon thing. Don’t rightly know what all them fancy words mean, but it sounds like a whole lotta ruckus, you know? Like a buncha chickens gettin’ loose in the henhouse, only way louder and messier.

Now, these GWAR fellas, they ain’t your grandma’s Sunday choir, that’s for sure. They’re a buncha… musicians, I guess you’d call ‘em, make a whole heap of noise. Folks say it’s “heavy metal,” sounds like bangin’ pots and pans to me, but what do I know? Apparently, they’re famous for puttin’ on a wild show, all costumes and… well, let’s just say it ain’t pretty.

This Orgasmageddon thing, it’s like a story, a comic book they call it. Full of pictures and words, kinda like them picture books my grandbaby likes, only this one’s got monsters and blood and all sorts of craziness. These GWAR fellas, they’re in the story, fightin’ some fella named Mr. Perfect. Sounds like a real jerk, this Mr. Perfect. Always them goody-two-shoes types causin’ the most trouble, ain’t it?

• So, these GWAR boys, they gotta go back in time, or somethin’ like that. Time travel, they call it. Confuses the heck outta me, but it’s like in them sci-fi movies where they zip around like flies on a hot skillet.
• And they gotta stop this Mr. Perfect, shut him down for good. Sounds like he’s done somethin’ real bad, made ‘em madder’n a wet hen. Revenge, that’s what they call it. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, that’s how it goes, even if you’re a buncha noisy musicians dressed up like monsters.

Folks were so excited about this GWAR: Orgasmageddon that they even gave money to make it happen. A Kickstarter, they called it. Sounds like passin’ the hat at church, only on the internet, whatever that is. And boy, did they raise a pile of money! Enough to print this comic book and let everyone see these GWAR fellas tearin’ things up.

Now, this ain’t just some little story, mind you. It’s a whole series, like one of them soap operas on the TV, only with more monsters and less cryin’. They say it’s full-color, which I guess means it’s got lots of pretty colors, not like them old black and white movies. And it’s got blood, lots of blood. These GWAR fellas, they ain’t afraid of makin’ a mess, that’s for sure.

Some folks say it’s funny, this Orgasmageddon thing. I reckon it’s one of them dark funny things, where you laugh but you also kinda cringe. Like when that old mule kicked Pa in the britches – funny to watch, but not so funny for Pa. They say it even passes some kinda test, a “Bechdel Test” they call it. Don’t ask me what that means, sounds like somethin’ them city folks made up.

GWAR: Orgasmageddon, it was so popular that they even put it all together in one big book, a “trade paperback,” fancy talk for a thick comic book. So, if you missed the first ones, you can get the whole shebang in one go. Ain’t that convenient?

Now, I ain’t sayin’ I understand all this GWAR: Orgasmageddon stuff. It’s a whole lotta loud noises and crazy pictures. But if you like monsters and mayhem and music that sounds like a train wreck, well then, this might just be your cup of tea. Just don’t blame me if it keeps you up at night, or if your ears start ringin’ louder’n a church bell.

And if you see these GWAR fellas comin’ down the road, well, you might wanna hide your chickens, lock your doors, and maybe say a little prayer. Cause when them boys show up, things are bound to get… messy. That’s just how they are, them GWAR fellas, always causin’ a ruckus. But hey, at least they ain’t boring, right?

Folks are readin’ it, talkin’ about it, so it must be somethin’ special, even if it’s just a buncha noise and monsters. That’s the way things go sometimes, you know? The things you don’t understand are the things that get everyone all riled up. And these GWAR fellas, well, they sure know how to rile folks up.

So there you have it, my take on this GWAR: Orgasmageddon. Not sure if I helped you understand it any better, but at least I tried, right? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on them chickens, make sure they ain’t runnin’ off to join a heavy metal band.