Hot off the Press! Marvel February 2024 Solicitations You Should See

Okay, here’s the article about “marvel february 2024 solicitations” like a plain old woman would tell it:

Alright, so listen up, y’all. I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout them Marvel comics comin’ out in February 2024. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do, okay? It’s like knowin’ when it’s gonna rain, ya just feel it in your bones.

First off, they got this Ultimate Black Panther thing. Now, I ain’t read a comic in ages, but even I know Black Panther. He’s that fella from that Wakanda place, right? This one’s somethin’ new, they sayin’ it’s a whole “Ultimate Universe.” Sounds fancy, but I bet it’s just more folks in tights fightin’. Still, folks seem real excited ‘bout it. They talkin’ ‘bout it all over. Say it’s gonna be a big deal. We’ll see, I reckon.

Then, there’s a whole mess of them X-Men books. Land sakes, how many of them mutants are there? It’s like tryin’ to count chickens on a farm, they just keep poppin’ up. They got this Cable fella, he’s always been a grumpy one. Got a big gun and a metal arm, if I remember right. Then there’s Dead X-Men. Now, that sounds like a barrel of laughs, doesn’t it? Dead folks, but they’re still X-Men? I swear, these comic book folks, they got imaginations wilder than a runaway tractor.

• Cable: Like I said, grumpy fella with a big gun. Always shootin’ and shoutin’.
• Dead X-Men: Dead but still kickin’, I guess. Spooky stuff.
• Resurrection of Magneto: Oh, that Magneto fella. He’s always causin’ trouble. Now they’re bringin’ him back? Can’t they just let a dead man rest?

They also got somethin’ called Resurrection of Magneto. That’s the metal-bendin’ fella, right? Always wearin’ that purple helmet. He’s supposed to be a bad guy, but then he ain’t so bad sometimes. Confusin’ if you ask me. They keep killin’ him off and bringin’ him back. Must be good for business, I guess. Folks sure do like readin’ about him, even if he is a troublemaker.

Now, they got all sorts of covers and pictures and whatnot. Some look pretty, some look scary. It’s all a bunch of colors and muscles if you ask me. But folks seem to like it. They spend their hard-earned money on these things, so there must be somethin’ to it.

They got writers and artists, they call ‘em. Drawin’ these pictures and writin’ the words. Must be nice work, sittin’ around makin’ up stories all day. Better than hoein’ the fields, that’s for sure. Though, sometimes I reckon hoein’ the fields makes more sense than some of this stuff I hear about.

So, that’s the gist of it, y’all. Marvel, February 2024. Black Panther, X-Men, and a whole lot of other stuff I can’t even pronounce. If you like that sort of thing, go ahead and pick ‘em up. Me, I’ll stick to my stories on the porch swing. At least those make some sense. Sometimes.

Anyways, don’t go spendin’ all your money on them funny books, ya hear? Gotta save some for a rainy day, and for the vittles. But if you enjoy them stories then that’s your business. Just don’t be tellin’ me all about the space aliens and the magic powers, my head ain’t built for that kind of thinkin’. I got enough to worry about with the chickens and the weather.

And for goodness sake, don’t go gettin’ any ideas from them comic books. Last thing we need is you runnin’ around in your underwear thinkin’ you can fly. You’ll catch your death of cold, and then where will we be? So be careful out there and be sensible like I taught ya.

Anyways, go on now, get out of here. I got chores to do and you got readin’ to do, or whatever it is you young folks do these days. And remember, read somethin’ educational every once in a while too! And don’t forget to eat your vegetables, and drink your milk so you grow big and strong like those superheroes…or like a good strong farm hand, which is more useful around here if you ask me.

Tags: [Marvel Comics, February 2024, Solicitations, Ultimate Black Panther, X-Men, Cable, Dead X-Men, Resurrection of Magneto, Comic Books, Superheroes]