GI Joe Countdown is Here: Are You Ready? (The Ultimate Guide)

This here GI Joe Countdown, I tell ya, it’s somethin’ else. Kids these days, they got all these fancy toys. Back in my day, we was lucky to have a stick and a hoop! But this GI Joe fella, he’s a real hero, I reckon.

I seen these GI Joe toys, all different kinds. Little army men, they are. This Countdown fella, he’s one of ’em. Heard he goes up to space, fightin’ them bad guys up there. We got enough trouble down here, I tell ya, but I guess someone’s gotta keep them space snakes away!

They say this Countdown, he’s part of somethin’ called the Star Brigade. Sounds important. Probably got a whole bunch of medals and such. I don’t know much about these things. Just know he’s a good guy, fightin’ for what’s right. And that is very good.

They got a whole bunch of these GI Joe fellas. Some fellas names are Hawk and Stalker, that one is a little scary, Scarlett and Snake Eyes, which is also a little scary, Breaker and Clutch. And Rock n’ Roll, that one sounds like fun. Then there’s Steeler and Grand Slam, Flash and Short-Fuze. And last but not least is Grunt. I seen ’em all in a big ol’ book. Lots of pictures, lots of colors. Makes my head spin, all these toys!

This book, it tells ya all about ’em. Every single one of these little GI Joe army men. Says it’s the “definitive guide.” Sounds fancy, don’t it? Means it’s the best one, I reckon. If ya wanna know about these GI Joe fellas, that’s the book to get. It is very good for you to know about these.

• Countdown, he got a red helmet.
• He got two yellow guns.
• And a yellow knife.

Gotta be careful with that knife, I tell ya! He first showed up in ’89, that book says. That’s a long time ago. Long before some of you young’uns was even born!

These GI Joe fellas, they fight against some bad guys called Cobra. Sounds like a snake, don’t it? Well, these Cobra fellas, they sent a whole bunch of space snakes up to the sky. Can you believe that? Space snakes! What will they think of next?

So this Countdown, he’s gotta go up there and fight ’em. Brave fella, that Countdown. Risking his life for us folks down here. We oughta be grateful, I reckon. He is a hero, you know.

I heard that these GI Joe, they used to be on the TV. Cartoons, they call ’em. And at the end, they always told the kids somethin’ important. Like, don’t run out into the road. Good advice, that is. Kids need to learn that stuff. This is very important for kids.

They said, “Knowing is half the battle.” That’s true, ain’t it? If ya know somethin’s dangerous, you’re less likely to do it. Smart fellas, these GI Joe. And this Countdown is one of the best.

This here book, it says it’ll “expand your knowledge” about GI Joe. That means it’ll make ya smarter about ’em. And that’s a good thing. Always good to learn somethin’ new, even if it’s about little army men that go to space and fight snakes.

So, if you see this Countdown fella in the store, you tell him I said he’s doin’ a good job. Keepin’ us safe from them space snakes. He’s a real American hero, that Countdown. And all them other GI Joe fellas too. They fight for us, so we don’t have to. And that’s somethin’ to be thankful for, ain’t it? You should know that.

These GI Joe are good for kids. If your kids do something wrong, you can tell your kids the story about GI Joe and Countdown. Then your kids will know not to do bad things. This is very good.

This world is a crazy place, full of all sorts of things. Space snakes and army men fightin’ ’em. But as long as we got folks like Countdown and GI Joe lookin’ out for us, I reckon we’ll be alright. Just gotta keep on knowin’ things, and that’s half the battle right there, ain’t it? It is true.