Get Your Klingon News Fix: Star Trek, Culture, and More

Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… Klingon thing, whatever it is. Heard some folks jabberin’ about it, so I figured I’d put in my two cents, you know? Don’t expect no fancy words from me, I just say it like I see it.

So, these Klingons, they’re from some show, I think. Star somethin’ or other. Space, you know, with the spaceships and all that jazz. Folks seem mighty worked up about ‘em, so they must be important, right?

Now, from what I gather, these Klingons, they ain’t always looked the same. Used to be one way, then they changed, like they got a bad case of the somethin’-somethin’. Sick, maybe? Heard tell it was some kinda disease that messed ‘em up. Made ‘em look different, you see. Like my cousin Jebediah after he got into that batch of bad moonshine. Not the same fella afterwards, I tell ya.

• First they looked like this.
• Then they looked like that.
• Confusin’, if you ask me.

There’s this fella, Worf, I think his name is. Big, tough fella. A warrior, they say. Honorable and all that. Seems like a decent enough chap, even if he does look a bit…rough around the edges. Reminds me of old man Hemmings down at the feed store. Always grumpy, but underneath, got a heart of gold, I reckon. Worf, he’s a big deal in this Star thingy, a real history maker, they say.

Now, these Klingons, they got their own way of talkin’. Not like us, no sirree. It’s a whole different language, they call it Klingon. Hard as a rock to learn, I bet. They talk about spaceships and fightin’ and all that space stuff. Not much good for everyday chatter, I hear. Like tryin’ to order a cup of coffee in Klingon. Good luck with that, I say! Imagine old Mrs. Higgins trying to order her prune juice in Klingon! Wouldn’t that be a sight?

Some brainy fella, Okrand, I think they called him, he made up this Klingon language. A smarty-pants, you know? Studied all sorts of languages, and then he cooked up this Klingon one. Must’ve had a lot of time on his hands, that fella. Probably never had to slop the hogs a day in his life. But hey, I guess someone had to do it, right?

Then there’s this show, Star Trek: Discovery. They got these Klingons in it too, but they’re different again. More alien-like, they say. I don’t know what’s so alien about ‘em, they all look kinda funny to me. But folks got all riled up about it, I heard. Seems like people got strong opinions about their Klingons. Like my sister-in-law and her prize-winning pumpkin pie. Don’t you dare say a word against it, or you’ll be in a heap of trouble.

There’s even a place, a big one, they say, all about Klingon stuff. They got pages and pages of stuff to read, all about Klingons and their way of life. Must be a lot of folks interested in these space fellas. More than I ever thought, that’s for sure.

And they got their own news, too, these Klingons. Klingon News Network, they call it. KNN. Imagine that! Klingons gettin’ their own news. What do they report on, I wonder? Spaceship traffic? Intergalactic wars? Probably not much about the price of eggs, I bet. They also got a bunch of other stuff, like computer programs and books. Busy folks, these Klingon fans.

So, that’s the lowdown on these Klingons, as best as I can tell. They’re space warriors with a weird language and a whole bunch of fans. And they keep changin’ their looks, which is mighty confusin’, if you ask me. But hey, to each their own, I always say. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my biscuits. Don’t want ‘em burnin’ now, do we?

Tags: [Star Trek, Klingon, Worf, Klingon Language, Star Trek: Discovery, KNN, Okrand, Space, Aliens, Fictional Language]