AEW Preview: What to Expect from This Weeks Dynamite

Alright, alright, let’s talk about this AEW Dynamite thing, whatever that is. Sounds like a whole lotta noise to me, but the young’uns, they seem to like it, so here we go.

So, they’re callin’ it AEW Dynamite, and it’s on this Wednesday, see? Gotta turn on that TV box to TBS at 8 pm Eastern Time, if you’re one of them fancy city folk. Us country folk, well, we just watch when the sun goes down and the chores are done.

This week, it’s comin’ from Bridgeport, Connecticut. Never been there myself. Heard it’s full of them fast cars and tall buildin’s. Probably ain’t got no good farmland, that’s for sure. They say this here AEW Dynamite is their main show, the big one. Like the prize-winnin’ hog at the county fair, I guess.

They’re kickin’ off somethin’ called the Continental Classic. Sounds mighty important, like one of them fancy car races. But it ain’t cars, it’s wrestlin’. Men in tights, grunting and groanin’. Don’t see the appeal myself, but to each their own, I always say.

This Continental Classic, it’s a tournament, a round robin they call it. Means everyone fights everyone, I reckon. Like chickens in a coop, peckin’ at each other till there’s one left standin’. Only, these chickens wear sparkly pants. They say they got a whole mess of matches planned. Fights, one after another. Probably gonna be a lot of yellin’ and smackin’.

They keep sayin’ “fully loaded card of matches and segments.” Sounds like they’re gonna be busy, those wrestlers. I hope they get paid well for all that runnin’ around. Land sakes, wrestling must be hard work. All that jumpin’ and flippin’ ain’t natural, I tell ya. Give me a good day of hoein’ the fields any day.

• They got this thing on TBS on Wednesdays.
• Then they got another one called Rampage on Fridays.
• And another called Collision, they show that whenever they feel like it, I guess.

Seems like a lot of wrestling to me. Don’t they got nothin’ better to do? I guess it keeps ‘em busy, keeps ‘em outta trouble. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Now, if you wanna get all caught up before Wednesday, they say you gotta go to this YouTube thing. It’s on that internet contraption. They got highlights from last week’s shows, all them Dynamite, Rampage, and Collision things. I wouldn’t know how to find it, mind you. Give me a good ol’ newspaper any day.

They signed a big contract, these AEW folks, with WarnerMedia. Means they’ll be on TV for a good long while, I guess. Through 2023, they say. Well, good for them. Hope they make enough money to buy themselves a nice piece of land, maybe raise some chickens. Real chickens, not the wrestling kind.

So, that’s the lowdown on this here AEW Dynamite. Wrestling, tournaments, TV shows. Sounds like a whole lotta fuss to me. But hey, if it makes people happy, who am I to judge? I’ll stick to my garden and my chickens, thank you very much. At least I know what I’m gettin’ with them.

Big Boom Broadcasting, they call it. Sounds like somethin’ might explode. Probably just means they yell a lot. Wrestlers always yellin’. Don’t know why. Just gets on my nerves. But like I said, the young’uns like it. So, there you have it. Everything you need to know about AEW Dynamite, from a plain old country woman’s perspective. Don’t expect nothin’ fancy now, you hear?

Tags: AEW, AEW Dynamite, Wrestling, Continental Classic, TBS, Preview, Bridgeport, Connecticut